Because sex is not a game this school year

By Joe S. Mcllhaney, Jr., M.D.

Millions of teenagers will gather this spring to cheer on their high school basketball team. After the game, there's another sport many will be cheering about, a game that many are learning for the first time this school year. But this game can cost them in the long run - sex.

About 15 million American acquire sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) each year. Twenty-five percent are younger than 20. One in five Americans 12 and older has genital herpes.

Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is shockingly common among young people. It causes over 90 percent of cancer of the cervix, which, in turn, is causing the deaths of more than 4,000 women yearly. One study found that 60 percent of co-eds at Rutgers University, for example, were infected at some time during the three-year study.

And there has been a 500 percent increase in the prevalence of genital herpes in white adolescents over the past 25 years.

If you're one of those parents who think a sexually transmitted disease can't walk in your front door right along with your teenager, think again - no matter how clean cut your son or daughter might look, no matter that he or she is a "good" kid. Among many high school and middle school students, sex has become a game. We're not just talking sexual intercourse, here. Oral sex and anal sex are popular activities even amongst eighth graders.

For far too many teens think sex is just a grown up version of pin the tail on the donkey - a party game. That's what Seventeen magazine found when they interviewed teenage boys. Sex in their social circles, they reported, is about experimentation and fun. It's rarely about intimacy. And lest you think this is adolescent male braggadocio, the girls we have spoken to tell a similar tale.

The reality of adolescent life today is that the "No, not my kid, he (or she) isn't into that sort of thing," approach just won't cut it. But neither does relying on the standard "safe sex" message of most educators.

A recent report issued by the National Institutes of Health - written during the Clinton administration and released this past summer - concludes that "safe sex" may be an oxymoron, at least for young people outside the context of marriage. The report states that condoms reduce the risk of HIV by approximately 87 percent, but only if they are used 100 percent of the time. And, among many other findings, the report notes that condoms appear to have little, if any, impact on preventing the sexual transmission of HPV in women.

All of this being said, the last thing parents can afford to do this school year is despair.
Because the fact of the matter is, there is one other thing that many parents don't realize - they can make a real difference.

Research consistently shows that a good relationship with their parents and a consistent message from their parents that sex is not okay for adolescents can help young people avoid early sexual activity. So now that fall has come and gone, and the back to school routine has settled in, take a moment to talk to your kids about sexually transmitted diseases, and about your expectations for their behavior.

The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, 2002 back to top